Like We Never Loved At All
by ThisIsMyPenName101
Summary: Sequel to White Houses. Massie Block has tried hard to forget that summer... more specifically Derrick Harrington. But when moving to Westchester, New York to live with her dad, Massie finds herself face to face with her old friends and her first love.
1. Chapter 1

**So I am FINALLY starting the sequel to White Houses. I know it's been a long time but I have been really busy and I am just really bad at updating... sorry :( I am trying to get better though! Anyway, this is the introduction. It's a little short and might be a little boring, but it's setting up the story so it is needed. Well here it is. Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Clique or the songs I put in the story.**

_"Where'd you go?_

_I miss you so,_

_Seems like it's been forever,_

_That you've been gone"_

Massie couldn't believe how much her life has changed. For example, she is now living in a huge white mansion with her mom and Richard. Surprisingly, Kendra has been able to hold on to a boyfriend for longer than a month, and is actually engaged. Who knew. She wouldn't say she hated Richard, but that doesn't mean she is president of his fan club. There isn't anything she could do about it now, and she has learned to accept it. Richard seems to be making an effort to make Massie happy and she should return the favor by putting on a smile and not complaining.

Looking around at her new room, Massie felt a weird sense of deja vu. Richard does not seem to have a creative mind as she observed the too familiar looking room. It's white walls, white bedspread, and white computer by the large bay window, with the only color source being the red apple by the white chair in the corner. Massie felt a lump forming in her throat making it hard for her to swallow. It's been two years since Massie set foot on that beach where she experienced first love, friendship, and heartbreak. It was the best and worst summer of her life, and she have been trying to forget that summer for two years with no avail, and now thanks to Richard and his uncreative mind, Massie has to feel the hurt full force. Thanks Richard for the constant reminder of my broken heart. You are really winning some stepdad brownie points… not.

Massie suddenly felt the urge to take out the worn out shoe box she kept at the back of her closet. It held all her memories of that summer. Yes she knew how weird that was, but she liked keeping reminders. Although she hated being reminded and then feeling the hurt that followed; so that is the reason she kept all the pictures and trinkets she had from that summer in this box.

Massie stood up from the bed making her way to the basement which holds the rest of hers and her mom's stuff. They have most of their stuff unpacked, but there is still a lot of work to do. Massie walked down the creaky wooden steps into the basement. She found it sort of funny how Richard's house screams money, but if anyone dared to look at the basement, they would second guess it.

Massie scanned the rows of boxes for the familiar black shoe box. She sighed annoyed that it had to be in the most difficult place. At the top of the shelf behind some cardboard boxes. Finally finding a stool, she reached over grabbing the box, but in the process knocking down the boxes in front of it, causing the papers in the boxes to scatter all over the floor. She considered leaving the papers on the ground and leaving, but a stack of envelopes caught her eye. She scrunched her eyes in confusion seeing the stack of letters tied together by a leather band. What in the world? She bent down to pick them up to see her name scrawled across the center. They were all for her from some address Massie has never heard of. Massie sat down on the stool and opened up one of the many letters.

_Dear Massie, _

_ I got the hint that you don't want to hear from me since you have yet to write me a letter, but I find that I still don't want to give up. I guess people might call me a fool, but I find that I don't care what people think. Anyway, I want tell you once more how much I love and miss you. I know you are probably angry with me or don't need me in your life, but I want you to know that I want you in mine, and from the day I left your mother I have regretted not being in your life. If you finally decide to forgive me, I would love if you were to visit me, maybe stay with me for a while. Massie, I love you more than you can ever know, and would love to see how much my precious girl has grown. _

_Love,_

_Your father (William Block)_

Massie just sat there, staring at the worn out paper. She was too shocked to even form a coherent thought. Her father, the man who left her so many years ago, the man who she constantly thought about, the man she dreamed for so many years would come back for her, had been writing to her. She looked at the dates on the letters to see that he has been writing to her for five years now. Massie felt a surge of anger course through her body thinking of how her mother has kept these letters from her. How her mother has lied to her for so long, how her mother would tell her that her father didn't want to have anything to do with them, that he didn't care about us anymore. How could she do this to her? Did she not know how many nights Massie would cry herself to sleep over her father? Yes, Massie knew her mom was selfish, but she never though she would be this selfish, this cruel.

With that thought, Massie grabbed the letters and stomped back up the creaky stairs to confront her mother, who was currently in the kitchen smacking down on a fig newton, big surprise there.

"I found these in the basement," Massie said throwing the letters down on the counter in front of Kendra. Kendra's head shot up like she was in a trance.

"What are you doing with those?" Kendra asked. Massie could see her getting nervous, which proved Massie's point that she was hiding them from her.

Massie ignored her question and continued speaking, "You told me that my dad didn't want anything to do with me. You told me he didn't care about me, and all along you were lying? How could you do this to me?" Massie finished feeling tears starting to form.

"I was trying to protect you," Kendra finally answered not able to look into Massie's eyes.

"From what? My dad?" Massie yelled.

"He left us," Kendra said firmly, finally looking up into Massie's chocolate brown eyes.

"No. He left you," Massie said back before turning her back and stomping up the stairs.

She couldn't believe her mom did this. Was she that selfish that she wouldn't let her talk to her own father. She looked back on the days when she would lay in her bed looking at the stars, thinking of her dad. Thinking of where he might me, of if he was thinking about her, if he missed her. She used to wish on any star in sight that her dad would come back for her. That he would at least talk to her, but nothing would happen. She saw her tears making tiny dots on the letters. She opened the letter up again and reread it practically memorizing the words that were written.

Getting an idea, she went on Richard's computer and looked up William Block. Turns out he lives in Westchester, New York. She saw his picture by a tall office building called Block enterprises, apparently he owned the company. She looked at his smiling face, he had short blonde hair looked clean cut. His big chocolate brown eyes sparkling. She smiled seeing the resemblance she had with him. They looked just alike.

Massie wanted to see him badly, and she now knew he wanted to see her to. With that thought she packed up some things, wrote down his address, and bought a plane ticket. It was time she took matters into her own hands. She walked out the door without even saying goodbye. Good bye North Carolina, hello Westchester.

**So, Review? :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Surprised to hear from me? :) So yes it's been like over a year and I am very sorry about that. I totally understand if you hate me... I hate me too, but here is another chapter of Like We Never Loved At All, and I am trying my hardest to give y'all updates A LOT sooner than I have. **

**Anyway, Enjoy:)... I do not own Clique**

I couldn't believe I was standing here in front of a stone mansion in New York about to meet my father for the first time. If someone would have come up and told me this a year ago, heck even a week ago, I would have laughed in their face telling them they were nuts. But here I was. Standing in front of a mahogany wood door in Westchester, New York. I closed my eyes and sighed. Here goes nothing. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before ringing the doorbell, awaiting an answer.

The large mahogany door suddenly swung open to reveal a tall, around 6'4, man with blonde hair cropped short to his head and large chocolate brown eyes. Dad. It was blatantly obvious in his features. Looking at him now I could tell I was a spitting image of him. Those familiar chocolate brown eyes widened taking in my appearance, I could tell he could see the resemblance too.

"Dad?" I finally answered unable to form any thoughts let alone two words. He just stood there frozen not taking his eyes off of me.

"It's me, Massie," I said biting my bottom lip nervously. It dawned on me that I should have given some warning or heads up. What if he changed his mind? What if he sends me back to mom? I couldn't stop these thoughts from swarming through my head as I stood there willing myself not to cry. I saw his face quickly form to a concerned look before quickly enveloping me in a hug.

"I can't believe it's you," he finally said after a couple of minutes. He kissed the top of her head and released me to get a better look of my face. I could feel the sob rising in my throat but I tried to swallow it up and stay strong. I didn't want to break down on the stone ground beneath me.

"I'm sorry. I'm just surprised to see you. I thought you didn't want to see me," he said brushing my golden blonde hair out of her face, smiling slightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't call before I came. I just-" Massie started to say but couldn't stop the tears that starting flowing down her cheeks and onto the ground making polka dots. I wrapped my arms around his firm torso not wanting to let go, afraid that if I moved from this place he would disappear. I could hear William's soft whispers of 'it's going to be ok' and slowly I started to feel better.

* * *

"I just got your letters. Mom kept them from me," I told him as I sat against the soft leather chair in William's study.

He nodded before answering, "I can see why she did that. She was just trying to protect you," he answered back. I could feel my hands tense up thinking of the last moment with Kendra. They didn't end on the best terms.

"Does she know you're here Massie?" he suddenly asked with raised eyebrows as he intertwined his hands together on his desk.

I could feel my face getting red and I looked down to try to hide it as I slowly shook my head. William sighed as he put his hands over his face. "Massie, you know I will have to tell her."

I nodded knowing he was right. "I don't want to leave though," I said feeling the tears starting to reform making the wood paneling on the walls become a blur. I had just gotten here! I haven't had enough time to get to know him. To know what he does on his free time. To know what he does, where he goes. Heck, just to know what his favorite color is.

William sat there assessing the situation to figure out the best solution. "How about this. Stay here tonight, and I will talk to my wife when she gets home, and of course Kendra. We will talk about what to do from there," he answered nodding his head. I just nodded slowly and stood up, running my hands on the soft leather seats.

"I do want you to stay here Massie. I just don't want your mom to worry about you," he answered realizing what he just said might have hurt her feelings.

"I understand," I said back smiling slightly, "I love you dad," I finished biting my bottom lip waiting for his answer.

I could see the warm smile light up his face when he said, "You have no idea kiddo."

* * *

I could hear my mom yelling like she was here in this house rather than on the phone. I know I should feel guilty for what I put her through, and I do kind of, but the anger over what she did outweighed that guilt. I crossed my fingers and said a little prayer hoping maybe that things would end well. All the sudden it was silent and I knew I was about to hear my fate. I wanted so badly to stay here, with my dad. I grew up not knowing him, and I didn't want waste any more years without him. My thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening and a tall pencil thin woman walked in with a confused look on her face as she looked me up and down.

"I'm Lorie," the woman said as she extended her dainty hand that surprisingly was very firm. She ran her fingers through her dark pixie cut hair and waited for me to speak.

"I'm Massie," I answered back giving a shy smile. What else was I supposed to say to my, I guess you would call her, stepmother? 'Hi your prodigal stepsister has returned.'

I could tell by the look on her face she knew exactly who I was. Right as she was about to speak William came out from his study asking to speak with Lorie in the study.

I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

* * *

I could not believe the events that happened today. I was insane for even considering flying to New York with no warning and pleading to live with my father. Now I'm actually getting to live here… with my dad. I don't know if I can get use to that. It was like a dream. I swear if I wake up and am in that anal white room at Richards I will hurt someone, but it seems no one will be going to the ER on my account, this is indeed real. My father and stepmother told me I could live with them, and it's only been a few hours but I feel like I am on cloud nine. This was my dream… to know my dad. I think I'm going to like Westchester, and at that moment I almost forgot all about Derrick Harrington…. almost.

**Like it? Review! They do matter! I just happened to browse on my email and saw a review from LovestoRead45 and realized I should put aside my busy schedule and keep writing! **


	3. Old Flame

**I bet y'all would have never expected two updates in two days… impressive? Let's see if I can update quicker than a year? **

**I just wanted to quickly thank all of my readers. You guys truly inspire me to write and reviews you write help me move along! I actually went back and reread White Houses to stir up my old feelings for the story and it made me angry at myself for not continuing to write! I wanted to know what will happen next! Haha. **

**Enough of my rambling… Here is chapter 3… The LONG AWAITED reunion of Derrick and Massie… AND Josh and Kemp are here too! YAY! AND a surprise visitor… can you guess who it is? ;) **

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I own the Clique... whoops I mean I don't...  
**

Old Flame

_I saw you staring at each other_

_I saw your eyes begin to glow_

_And I could tell you once were lovers_

_You ain't hiding nothing I don't know_

I couldn't stop fiddling with my white and pink floral dress and constantly adjusting my black cardigan sweater and belt around my stomach. I have never been this nervous in my life. The thought of going to a school in a new state where I know absolutely no one terrifies me. Reading over the school handbook last night did not give help my nerves and stop the butterflies from fluttering it's massive wings in the pit of my stomach.

Octavian Country Day. The name in and of itself sounded intimidating. Any student there sounds like they have to be on top of everything, not miss a beat, the initials are an anxiety order for God's sake.

"Alright kiddo, time to get out now," my father informed me smiling, silently telling me I will be okay. I looked at him and remembered why I was here, to connect with my father. That thought itself soothed my nerves, and encouraged me to step out of the car and get through the day.

"I'll be here after school to get you," he told me.

"Dad I know you have to be busy being CEO of the largest company in the United States and all. I can walk home. It's only a couple miles," I said trying to put on a brave face. Of course I wanted him, maybe even needed him, to be there when I got out, but I did not want to be more of a burden than I already have been for him. The fact that he took me in is too much.

"Don't be ridiculous," he answered rolling his eyes, "I'll see you at 3:30 sharp," he finished rolling up the window and taking off before I could form a rebuttal.

I took a deep breath, smoothed out my long curly, now covering my boobs, golden hair and looked at the school where I am its newest student. It was probably the biggest school I have ever seen with it's red bricks seeming to stretch for miles and the ivy following the white columns to the roof that seemed almost impossible to see where it ended. I closed my eyes for a second trying to gain composure and started walking toward my new life, ready to take on any surprises it throws at me.

* * *

Finding my locker was my first task of the day. _202 202 202, _I kept repeating to myself as I scanned the lockers on the second floor. Found it! Next, combination, _18—clockwise—14-counterclockwise-21-click. _Perfect.

"It can't be," I heard from down the hallway, although probably not meant for me, the voice sounded really familiar.

"My eyes must be playing a trick on me," another voice, and very familiar as well, said.

"Who says that dude? You are such a pansy," the first voice said back snickering. That was when it hit me. I only knew two guys who bickered like a married couple, but it couldn't be. I haven't seen them in two years. I turned around stunned and at the end of the hall there stood Kemp Hurley and Josh Hotz. They were staring right at me and right when I met both of their eyes the burst into huge grins, that spread as wide as their faces.

"Block!" They both yelled in unison before taking off in a sprint towards me. Before I could even take another breath, I was lifted off the ground by Kemp chanting 'Block, block, block", and then I found myself being sandwiched between Kemp and Josh.

"Guys, I can't breath," I spit out between ragged breaths, as they squeezed tighter like they were trying to break my ribs. They both laughed before finally releasing me causing me to practically gasp for air.

"What in carnation brings you here to OCD, better yet New York?" Kemp exclaimed shaking his head like he was in utter shock.

"I'm living with my dad," I replied smiling. I could definitely get used to saying that.

"Wait as in your real dad. The one that you told us about? He lives here?" Josh asked surprised. I couldn't blame him though since I told him how my father never contacted me and left when I was a toddler.

"It's a long story, but yes that's the one," I answered smiling tightly as memories of the letters and the fight with my mom came back to the front of my mind. I shook my head trying hoping to shake them away.

"So let me get this straight. You are living here now?" Kemp asked. I could see the excitement fill up his face like a little kid taking in the sight of all the presents at Christmas.

I nodded and smiled and before I could say anything else I was sandwiched again, but this time I didn't complain. I never realized how much I missed them… it was a lot.

Then it hit me, as in hit me full force like a train.

**Derrick Harrington.**

"Wait. Don't y'all go to the same school as Derrick," I asked timidly even though I already knew the answer, and that answer brought those butterflies and their monstrous wings to reenter my stomach. I could tell by their faces they didn't think about that either, but once they did their faces turned into pity.

"There is something you need to know Block," Josh warns running his hands into his dark brown hair.

He didn't have to say anything more because I saw him. He was walking through the doors. My heart started beating like a kick drum, my breathing became ragged. It's been two years since I've seen Derrick Harrington. He looked different, yet the same. His dirty blonde hair was now cut shorter to his head where his ends went spit in different directions, he was taller maybe 6'2 or 6'3, his muscles were a lot more defined practically ripping out of his green polo he had on. His eyes though were the same mint green that I always got lost in, he still had that same crooked grin, the same dimples when he smiled. I found myself thinking back to that summer. That summer we fell in love.

"Derrington!" I heard coming from the door. I turned to look where it came from and gasped. Kristen Gregory! She was my best friend that summer, and the friend that lied to me about sleeping with my boyfriend. I haven't seen or talked to her since the night of my birthday party. Wait I thought she lived in California?

"She moved here last year when her father started working for Block Enterprises," Josh answered as if he could read my mind.

She grew a lot since that summer. She was a lot taller, of course her 4 inch suede pumps was probably helping a little, her hair was cut short, to her shoulders with many wispy layers that seemed to bounce and sway when she walked, but that twinkle of excitement and mischief was still there like before.

Derrick turned around to face her and she enveloped him in a hug, and then they looked into each others eyes. I widened my eyes… they are not about to do what I think they are. Please don't. Please don't.

It seems the gods are not on my side as I watched their lips smash against each other passionately. I suddenly felt like I was going to vomit, and needed to retreat fast to the nearest bathroom.

"I'll catch up with you guys later?" I muttered before making a beeline to the bathroom and covering my face in hopes of hiding myself from the new lovebirds.

This isn't happening. It couldn't be. Yes I knew Derrick wasn't going to be waiting around for the off chance we would ever be together again, even though I wish that were the case, but did it have to be Kristen Gregory?

After composing myself in the bathroom, I looked at my schedule realizing I am actually here for school, which was forgotten between seeing Josh and Kemp and seeing the love of my life trading gum with my ex best friend.

_D215- Calculus._ I saw above the wooden door as I turned to open it and walking in I realized I was a little late. Curse you queasy stomach! I thought seeing all eyes were on me, but I stopped on a pair of mint green eyes. _Crap._ I saw his eyes widen and all the sudden he spits his gum out in surprise, the gum ending up in the girl's hair in front of him.

"AAHHH!" the girl screamed as she felt the sticky wad on the back of her perfectly spiraled blonde curls. Although I was still healing from shock, I couldn't help but let out a tiny giggle at the girl who was now switching off screaming at the teacher and cursing Derrick, but Derrick didn't hear a word she said. He couldn't take his eyes off of me.

After the gum girl was sent to the nurse I was introduced to the class and sent to the seat at the back that was on the opposite side of Derrick, which I was thankful for.

"First you spit gum in a girl's hair and now you won't stop staring at the new girl Harrington?" The teacher, which I learned her name was Mrs. Davidson, exclaimed tapping her black heel on the floor impatiently.

"Sorry Mrs. Davidson," Derrick apologizes fixing his attention on her rather than me. I felt my ears turn red hearing his voice; it's been so long.

After that I was lost in the syllabus writing down the test dates in my planner. I always wrote everything down. It kept me on top of things, and I always tried to stay on top of it when it came to school. Yet as Mrs. Davidson started droning on about what we will be learning this year I found my eyes back on Derrick. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and it didn't help that it was math. If it were English class I could distract myself from Derrick easily and actually enjoy being in the classroom, but no. I was stuck in math class. After what seemed like a lifetime the bell rang signaling to the students to go to their second period. Finally, I thought as I stood up and tried to get out before Derrick had time to approach me. He was a lot faster than me,however, and I could hear him at my heels.

"Massie?" I heard Derrick say from right behind me before touching my shoulder. I closed my eyes feeling the spark shoot from my shoulder through my body. Why did he have to touch me? I turned around and was face to face with him. I could feel my face turning red and silently cursed myself for blushing so easily.

"Hi," was all I could muster. I didn't realize it would be this hard to talk to him, but nothing else would come out. All I could think about was the last time I saw him, at the birthday party Kristen threw for me. The pleading in his eyes when he tried to explain himself; I could hear his voice calling my name as I ran away from him. It was too much to take. I couldn't stay here this close to him much longer.

"What—what are you doing here?" he stammered. It seems he is having the same problem as me with talking.

"I moved in with my dad," I answered looking down at my leather flip- flops, trying not to make eye contact with him again, "He lives here," I finished and realized that was a stupid thing to add. Of course he would know that. Why else would I be here? Stupid Massie.

"Your dad?" he asked surprised.

"Long story," I explained shuffling my feet. I felt the lump in my throat getting bigger and knew I needed to leave, "I gotta go," I finished before turning my back on him and walking away hoping I was going in the direction of my next class, and concentrating on not throwing up on the way.

I should have seen this coming.

* * *

**Derrick and Massie finally see each other again after two long years! Maybe not the reuniting that you wanted, but that's how it is :/…. **

**Anyway write a little, or big, review and tell me what you think about the reuniting of Derrick and Massie, or Kristen, or Kemp and Josh! Or just tell me whatever is on your mind!**


	4. Erase

Happy to see me again? :) So it has been a few months… but what can I say? Old habits are hard to break… Also a friend and I have a fashion blog we just started up. It's called Fishnets n Fedoras! Y'all should check it out! Go to my profile page to see the website! and hey this way you can actually see me and know I haven't dropped off the face of the planet! Haha. 

**Anyway… enjoy the next chapter!**

**Oh and I don't own the Clique for all of you who were under the impression that I do; nor do I own Erase… or Mika for that matter :D **

_Erase_

_I shouldn't have called so late last night_

_Unsecure, out of mind_

_I shouldn't have left that message on your phone_

_I shouldn't have said the things I said_

_Lookin' for love we left for dead_

_In a grave without a stone_

The only love I need in my life is Mr. Bingley. Yes everyone else falls in love with Mr. Darcy, but I always found Mr. Bingley handsome and sweet, which is exactly what I needed. I was very excited to see Pride and Prejudice as one of the novels my literature class was reading this semester. That was all I needed to get through the rest of my day, that and the fact that Kemp and Josh were in this class with me.

Josh had fallen asleep on his desk, and Kemp tried to contain his laughter as he wrote pansy in large letters across Josh's forehead, Josh was a heavy sleeper. I rolled my eyes and tried to contain my laughter as Kemp accidently let out a girlish giggle.

"Mr. Hurley and Ms. Block," our teacher, Mr. Jordan, announced, "Do you all find me funny?" he finished raising one of his busy eyebrows.

"Do you want me to answer honestly or tell you what you want to hear?" Kemp replies earning a round of chuckles from his classmates.

Mr. Jordan was taken aback for a second but quickly composed himself answering, "Do not let it happen again. Both of you." He stared both Kemp and I down before returning to the topic he was discussing prior to the interruption. After that I started to doze off to where I couldn't make out what Mr. Jordan was saying.

It's been a week since I've been at this school, and to Kristen and Derrick I don't exist. To give Kristen some credit, she does smile when she passes me in the hallway, sometimes even a slight wave, but Derrick does not wave let alone smile or even glance in my direction. He just keeps walking like I'm not there. It is like that summer two years ago never happened, and that is what hurt the most. It was like he didn't care or even remember what happened. Maybe it is better this way, not acknowledging each other. I don't think I could take the pain of seeing Derrick and Kristen together and have to put on a fake smile. I didn't want to.

I sighed and readjusted my blue New York Yankees hat to make sure it was still in place on top of my straightened hair and made sure my white V-neck t shirt was pulled down, not the best fashion choice, but it was one of those days, and I really needed my hat, it helped me through even the worst of situations.

"Wake up Block," Kemp chuckled pulling the bill of my hat down towards my nose, "Time for lunch."

"Do you have to do that every time I wear my hat Kemp?" I complained as I yanked his shorts up hearing him grunt. He turned to me and slanted his eyes before he started poking me incessantly.

"Kemp!" I screeched punching him in the stomach until he finally stopped. He just chuckled and I stuck my tongue out at him before leading him and Josh out of class to the cafeteria.

Normally lunch is the time of the day students look forward to, but I dreaded it. Everyday I have to try to swallow my food while watching Derrick and Kristen be all over each other. It was torture, even from across the cafeteria.

"I'm so hungry I could eat Josh!" Kemp yelled pushing Josh aside as he ran towards the lunch line, cutting everyone so he can go first. Most of the students don't mind though, considering Kemp was one of the most popular kids in school, him along with Josh, Derrick, Kristen, and a few others.

Josh rolled his eyes, "Pig," he muttered as he opened the door for me, and there I was surrounded by food and chatter.

Like every other day, I found a table in the corner and I took out whatever book I was reading for the week, this week being Wuthering Heights, and tried to concentrate on the pages rather than other distractions, and I took the occasional bite of my sandwich or whatever Inez, dad's housekeeper, had packed for me.

"Your days of eating alone like a total loser are over," I heard Josh say standing over me. I looked up at him as he plopped his food on the table and took a seat next to me.

"You really don't have to do this Josh. You can go eat with your friends," I argued.

"I am eating with my friends. Or friend," he argued smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back. Josh was always good at cheering me up and I definitely needed it right now as I observed Derrick putting his arm around Kristen pulling her close to give her a kiss on the forehead. And now I lost my appetite.

Josh could see my mood change and followed my gaze to Derrick and Kristen. He smiled apologetically, "Don't let it get to you Mass, I saw the way he use to look at you. He doesn't love her like he loved you," Josh added with another smile. I just nodded and the rest of the lunch he tried to keep me distracted by discussing our mutual love for our favorite Beatle, Paul McCartney.

"Massie!" I heard from behind me in the hallway as I walked to my final class of the day, economics. I turned around and Kristen was running towards me, or more of a waddle because of her white gladiator heels.

"Hey," she said when she finally reached me, brushing her blonde hairs aside that were stuck to her lips.

"Hey," I answered smiling tightly squeezing the straps of my backpack that were over my shoulders.

"I miss you," Kristen replied looking down at our shoes.

I missed her too, a lot. That summer we were inseparable and since then I have thought about calling her, but I could never go through with it. I want us to be normal again, but now she's dating Derrick. I don't know if I could do it.

"Kristen, I got to go—" I tried to get out, but Kristen interrupted me.

"Why can't we be like we used to Mass? How many times do I have to apologize about that summer?" she asked before I had time to make my escape, I tightened my grip on my straps making my hands turn white.

"I'm not mad anymore. I'm over it," I answered quickly not able to look her in the eyes. I wasn't telling a whole lie. I wasn't upset at her for that summer, her and Derrick however is a different story.

"Then what's the problem?" she asked stepping closer throwing her arms out for emphasis.

"You can't seriously be clueless Kristen." I replied.

"Mass, it's been two years since you've dated. You can't seriously still be hung up on him. You were the one who walked out on him anyway," she replied talking with her hands as if they helped prove her point.

Her reply caused something in me to snap, and before I knew it I found myself yelling at her. "The only reason why I walked away is because you guys hooked up and lied about it! How can you be so insensitive! I loved him Kristen. I still do!" I finished feeling the heat radiating from my face. I tried to take a deep breath to calm down, but it didn't seem to help.

"You dropped off the face of the earth Massie! None of us has heard from you in two years! You can't just waltz back into Derrick's life after you walked away from him without giving him a chance to explain or apologize and expect him to wait around for you! So either you find someway to deal with Derrick and I being in love or you can stay out of our way!" Kristen finished crossing her arms across her chest as if she were trying to hold herself back from swinging them at me.

Her words felt like a knife digging in my back. I couldn't look at her anymore, let alone be anywhere near her. I had to get out of there.

Without another word I walked away trying to contain the tears that were forming in my eyes. What hurt the most, however, was the feeling deep down that I knew she was right.

"Dad," I cried through the phone, "I need to be picked up. I don't feel good."

"Sure honey. I'll be there," he answered hearing the desperation in my voice.

"What happened?" my dad asked concerned. I felt bad interrupting him at work, and even more bad that he felt the need to stay with me rather than go back.

I sighed when I realized he wasn't going to leave me, and I broke down and told him everything, from that summer to the conversation with Kristen today. He just sat there and listened without interrupting me, and surprisingly him just listening was what I needed most.

I couldn't sleep. I was just lying there staring at the ceiling, unable to control my brain from going through my day like I had put the setting on replay. Kristen's words stuck out. She said they were in love. Her and Derrick. That fact seemed to hurt me most, causing me to be restless.

Something came over me, and before I knew it I was picking up the phone and dialing a number I haven't dialed in two years. I just needed to talk to him.

"Massie?" his deep voiced asked in confusion.

"I'm sorry," I answered trying not to sound like I was crying. I didn't want to sound desperate, besides like Kristen said, they were in love, "I'm sorry for walking away from you that night. It's just… I was hurt and I didn't know how to handle it. I'm sorry."

"It's ok Massie. You don't have to apologize," he answered back. I could hear the sadness in his tone knowing he was thinking about that night.

"I missed you… I still do," I said wanting so badly for him to say it back although I knew he couldn't.

I could hear him sigh on the other line and I suddenly felt like calling him was a bad idea.

"I'm sorry Mass. I've gotta go," was all he replied before hanging up leaving me with a queasy stomach.

It was over. He moved on.

**Poor Massie… although I do think she is a little dramatic don't ya think? But give her a break… It's hard to get over a first love. Especially a first love who has puppy dog eyes and crooked grin. ;) **

**Anyway, review! And check out my blog! And if you are feeling crazy FOLLOW my blog! It would make me SO happy! :D**


	5. Dreams

**SUUURRRPPPRRIIISSSEEEE! Another chapter! Haha.**

**I do not own the Clique.**

**Anyway, here it is… enjoy :)**

Dreams

"_And now in my dreams,_

_I can feel the weight, I can just come clean_

_I keep it to myself, I know what it means_

_I can't have you, but I have dreams"_

* * *

"Bring it on," William states rubbing his hands together as him and I sat at the kitchen counter while Inez cooked dinner.

I smiled and looked down at the paper that was grasped tightly in my hands. "Ok, what's your favorite color?" I asked.

"Blue," William answered quickly.

"Favorite book?"

"Pride and Prejudice."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Really?" I asked surprised.

"What?" he said widening his eyes smiling, "Can't a grown man enjoy the romantic classics?"

I giggled. "Ok, fair enough," I agreed before returning to the questions.

"Favorite band?"

"Rascal Flatts."

"Favorite food?"

"Grilled cheese."

I smiled and wrote down his answer like I had been doing with the others. I wanted to know everything about my father and didn't want to forget any of it.

"Speaking of food, supper is ready. Let's go kids," William's wife, Lorie, said winking at me and leading us to the dining room.

It's been only a couple weeks since I had been here, but I loved it. Not only reconnecting with my father but I also loved his wife Lorie who seemed almost like an older sister I never had rather than a stepmother. Lorie instantly accepted me into their family with no complaints and seemed genuinely happy that I was there. It felt so much like home, which I had never completely felt before.

"So kiddo, what are you doing tonight?" my dad asked looking at me as he stuffed a chunk of steak into his mouth.

"I don't know. I think Josh might come over and watch a movie or something," I replied moving the corn around with my fork.

"You and this boy Josh have been hanging out a lot lately. Should I be having a talk with him or start calling him 'son in law'? William teased.

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "No dad," I replied emphasizing the word no, "it's not like that. We're just friends."

"You should tell him that," he answered back chuckling.

"William!" Lorie gasped hitting him with her napkin, "Stop prying into poor Massie's life."

"I'm the father. I'm obligated to pry Lorie," William replied jokingly as he stuffed another bite into his mouth.

I just laughed and kept eating. I didn't mind that he was prying. I've never had a father figure before and it gave me a warm feeling that I didn't want to go away.

* * *

That night I had a dream about Derrick. We were sitting on my bed talking about our memories and how much we've missed each other. And then he leaned in to kiss me. First softly, and the second more firmly. We lied down on my bed and I could feel his hands trailing my arm, my stomach. I slowly took off his shirt and he started unbuttoning my blouse. He pulled away to smile at me, "I love you Block," he said softly. And then I woke up with chills running down my arms.

* * *

"The movie night was fun last night Block. We need to have more of those," Josh stated as he slung his arm around me while we walked down the hall towards the cafeteria.

"There was a movie night and I wasn't invited?" Kemp yelled and stuck out his bottom lip, milking his sad puppy dog act.

I giggled and linked my arm through Kemp's. "I'm sorry Kemp. You will be at the next one. Promise," I replied leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Good," he replied but as he was talking I couldn't help but be distracted by the death glare Kristen leveled me with as she passed by. I felt a little guilt from our conversation the other day, but she should feel just as guilty and I wasn't going to give in first.

"You must have really stuck it to her Block for her panties to be in such a knot," Kemp noted shaking his head grinning.

"Yeah like Gordion knot tight," Josh replied shaking his head along with Kemp.

Kemp slaps Josh on the back of the head, "Dude you are such a dork. Who knows what that is anyway," Kemp stated laughing, but it sounded more like a giggle than a laugh.

"At least I don't laugh like a twelve year old girl!" Josh shot back shoving Kemp's head with the hand that had previously been around my shoulder, which started yet another shoving and name-calling fight. For big guys they kind of fight like little girls.

"Guys!" I yelled sticking my arms out creating a barrier between them.

"Sorry," they both muttered as we made our way into the cafeteria. We grabbed our food from the line and walked over to our table in the corner that looked out across the whole room.

"So Derrick is throwing a party this weekend," Kemp states as we ate. Kemp usually sits with his group of friends at Derrick and Kristen's table, but every once in a while he comes and sits with Josh and I, today being one of those days.

I didn't look up from my shriveled green peas as I replied, "oh?"

"Look Mass I know it's awkward, but it could be fun and help ease all the tension," Josh stated.

I didn't necessarily want to go, but I knew they wouldn't give up till they got the answer they wanted so I just nodded, "Maybe. I'll have to ask my dad."

"Just think about it," Josh replied, "And hey I know you've missed seeing Kemp turn into a total moron after he drinks even one beer," Josh said laughing at the expense of Kemp who just narrowed his eyes.

"And I bet you've missed Josh turn into a total pansy and retell stories of his childhood as a boy scout and how he finally earned his cooking badge," Kemp retorted slapping his hands together in mock excitement when he said 'cooking badge.'

Kemp and I started laughing as Josh called Kemp a douchebag before returning to his chicken and mashed potatoes.

* * *

"Massie!" I heard from behind me as I walked out of the cafeteria towards my music class. I knew exactly who it was, and did not intend on turning around. After that embarrassing phone call I blushed every time I saw him.

"I know you can hear me Massie. Just turn around," he said finally reaching me and grabbing my shoulder. I sighed and turned around looking at the frown indented in his face. His cute adorable face. I noted the little wrinkle on his cheek where his dimple comes out. His freckle below his mouth on his chin. His lips that I used to know so well. Images of my dream from last night came back to the forefront of my mind. His fingertips trailing down my stomach, his lips mashed against mine. _Stop it Massie!_ I yelled to myself. I can't think like that anymore, I thought to myself as I felt the chills rising up from my toes.

"I'm sorry for the other night. You just took me by surprise and I'm just with Kristen now and I need to be fair to her," Derrick said rambling looking down at his shuffling feet.

"It's ok. I was out of line," I replied smiling tightly playing with my sleeveless floral cardigan before moving on to fidgeting with my short black high wasted skirt.

"If it's worth anything now, I have missed talking to you and hanging out. We had a lot fun that summer," he said smiling finally meeting my eyes. I couldn't help but smile back remembering the times we had.

"So can we be friends Block?" Derrick finally asked.

I could feel my face heating up and my cheeks blushing hearing him call me by my old nickname. I nodded, "friends." Although I didn't know if I could ever just be friends with him, I couldn't say no to his hopeful smile plastered across his face. I stuck out my hand to shake and he pushed it aside and went in for a hug. I could feel my body tingling and conforming to him. I closed my eyes and took it all in not wanting to ever let go. Derrick backed up but let his hands trail my shoulders and down my arms to my hands. He stood there for a minute just looking in my eyes, and I could have sworn he was about to kiss me. It seemed like he heard my thoughts and instantly let go of me and muttered bye before walked in a different direction.

I've missed him so much and even hugging him sent the sparks through my body. Those feelings that I had over the summer were still there; I could feel it, and as I turned around to look back at him and saw him looking at me, I knew he felt it too.

**Oh Massie…. It seems the sparks are still there… there's just this perky blonde standing in their way. **

**Anyway, reviews anyone?**


	6. Raise Your Glass

**Two surprises in a week! Get excited!**

**Enjoy another chapter of Like We Never Loved At All!**

**I don't own the Clique only my poor excuse of an imagination.**

Raise Your Glass

"_So if you're too school for cool, _

_And you're treated like a fool, _

_You can choose to let it go _

_We can always, we can always, _

_Party on our own"_

* * *

Sitting through Calculus I can never let my gaze stray away from Derrick, and today as the teacher droned on about the techniques of differentiation I watched as Derrick drummed a soft rhythm on his desk with his pencil like he was listening to a song in his head. I bet it was Someday by the Strokes he was beating to. It was his favorite song; at least it was a couple of years ago.

_My thoughts went back to that summer when Derrick and I were sitting out on his porch that looked out on the beach and listened to that song. _

_Derrick started singing like he was Julian Casablancas even though Derrick was a terrible singer and I burst out laughing when he jumped up on the chair singing as loud as he could. He reached down taking my hand pulling me up on my chair and we both sang and played air guitar to our invisible audience. _

"_We should start a band ," I said smiling as I stuck a spoonful of chocolate ice cream in my mouth._

"_Yeah if we knew how to actually play an instrument," Derrick replied._

"_Speak for yourself. I can play guitar remember? And if someone would work on their vocals over here," I retorted laughing pointing my spoon towards him._

"_What you don't think I'm a good singer?" Derrick asked widening his eyes like he was offended._

"_I'm just saying maybe your singing shouldn't leave the shower," I answered laughing. He narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue before returning to his ice cream._

I was smiling like an idiot from the memory and Derrick suddenly looked over at me and I instantly averted my gaze feeling a soft blush creep on my cheeks. Curiosity got the better of me and I looked back and as if he was thinking the same thing his gaze landed on mine. He smiled at me and started acting out the drums and mouthing the words of the song in his head. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing as Mrs. Davidson's eyes landed on Derrick.

"Are you holding a private concert Mr. Harrington?" Mrs. Davidson asked raising her eyebrows. Derrick immediately stopped and shook his head at the teacher. Mrs. Davidson stared Derrick down a few more seconds before returning back to her lecture. Derrick looked back at me and widened his eyes. I couldn't help but let out a giggle and he smiled before returning his gaze back to the teacher.

* * *

"So I'm having a party this weekend. You should come," Derrick stated as we walked out of calculus.

"Yeah Kemp and Josh were telling me about it. I don't know if I can though," I answered smiling and looking down at my doc martins.

"Please come?" Derrick pleaded sticking out his bottom lip for emphasis, "it would be a great way to start off this friendship."

Looking at his pleading face it was hard to say no. Was it a good idea to accept? Probably not considering the whole Kristen situation, but looking at his face made it hard to say no.

"Ok, I'll come. But as I long as I'm the first to do the keg stand," I replied jokingly, knowing he remembered that I never let alcohol touch my lips.

He burst out laughing slinging his arm around me, "Gotta live up to your name Block."

"Like mother like daughter right?" I replied with a hint of darkness in my tone remembering how my mother always was when I was a child.

He chuckled, "You were always known as the alcoholic one of our group."

"No I believe that name was reserved for your current girlfriend," I retorted poking his chest but instantly regretted what I said not knowing if he took the comment the wrong way. He didn't seem to however as I noticed him tilt his head back and laugh.

As if on cue Kristen rounded the corner and Derrick jumped quickly and in one swift moment the arm that was slung casually across my shoulders was gripping tightly to his backpack strap.

I thought for a moment that maybe she didn't see it, but by the look in her eyes I knew she did which made me feel the cheeseburger I just ate for lunch churning in my stomach. I don't think we were doing anything wrong or inappropriate, but because of our current situation it might have looked fishy.

"Did I miss something?" Kristen asked putting her arm around Derrick's waist and leaning in to kiss him. I could sense that Derrick was uncomfortable as he only gave Kristen a small peck, which seemed to agitate her even more.

"No babe. I was just inviting Massie to my party Saturday night, but it seems Josh and Kemp beat me to it," Derrick replied coolly.

"Well hopefully you can come," Kristen replied with a fake smile, "if that is all we should get going to our class Derbear," Kristen finished and I hoped she didn't see me gag at her nickname.

He lightly kissed her cheek replying, "let's go babe," and they were gone leaving me standing in the hallway alone.

* * *

The party seemed to be in full swing when I got there, and I could feel the nervous feeling in my stomach as I clutched the door handle. I quickly readjusted my tan sequined shorts making sure my black chiffon top was not starting to un-tuck itself from the shorts and walked in. All the people packed into one room instantly overwhelmed me and the butterflies got worse realizing I didn't recognize any of them.

I pulled out my phone hoping to text Josh or Kemp to see where they were, but as if they could sense me Kemp was walking through the crowd towards me.

"There's my Block!" Kemp yelled obviously already wasted giving me a hug, "I'm so glad you came. This party was getting a little dull," he joked leading me deeper into the room. I crinkled my nose smelling the alcohol leaking from his breath.

"It looks like you were getting along great without me Kemp," I teased. He just laughed and kept leading me through the room and out to the deck which looked out on the pool.

Kemp led me to the pool where I saw Josh standing with a group of people talking. He looked up and noticed me and smiled.

"Mass you're here!" he yelled coming up to me engulfing me in a hug.

"Don't act so surprised. I told you I would you loser," I replied rolling my eyes. He chuckled squeezing me tighter before letting me go.

He led me over to the group of people he was talking to introducing me to them. There was a girl with long black hair that looked Native American, a tall skinny guy who looked like a basketball player, which I found out later to be true, a blonde girl with unruly curls, which framed her pale face, and two other guys who were blonde and fraternal twins. They were all really nice asking me where I was from and how I knew Josh and Kemp. They offered me a drink but I didn't take it just saying I wasn't drinking tonight.

"Are you a sober party pooper like our boy Josh here?" one of the fraternal twins asked smiling his crest white smile. His long blonde hair fell into his face and he brushed it back to get a better look at me. He looked like he could be plastered half naked on a poster in Abercrombie and Fitch. His blonde hair was long and wavy sweeping his forehead. Although he was obviously wearing clothes you could tell he had muscles under all that cotton, and his face was clear and perfectly chiseled, and by the way he presented himself he already knew it.

"Yeah I'm lame. Sorry guys," I replied smiling. They all booed teasingly before continuing a conversation they had going earlier. That's when I saw Derrick and Kristen. They looked like they didn't notice that there was a group of about one hundred kids around them as they both were all over each other. Talk about PDA.

I couldn't take my eyes off of them practically fornicating in the pool chair. It was making me gag seeing Kristen straddled over him cramming her alcohol caked tongue down his throat like she was giving him a strep test. People really did have no shame.

I vaguely heard a "watch out" from someone close to me but I didn't really think they were talking to me until I felt a warm body ram my side causing me to fall, the only thing catching my fall being the ice cold pool water. I jumped straight out of the water feeling the jolt of ice shock my body. I wouldn't be surprised if I had hypothermia after this.

"Mass are you okay?" Josh yelled coming to the edge of the pool grabbing my arms and helping me out.

"Yeah I just thought I'd cool off. It was getting a little hot out here," I replied sarcastically instantly hugging myself hoping for warmth.

"Here let's go find you a towel," Josh says putting his arm around me and leading me back to the house and upstairs to the bathroom.

* * *

"Mass you look terrible!" Josh said laughing as he watched me squeeze out the remaining drops of water from my hair.

"How about I throw you in the pool and see if you look any better," I retorted sticking my tongue out at him, as he laughed harder lying back on the bed. I walked over and sat at the bed beside him wrapping the towel around me.

"Remember the first day we met?" I suddenly asked breaking the silent moment we had previously been having.

He immediately starting laughing at the memory, "How could I forget? You threw your ice cream all over my brand new shirt."

I laughed along with him, "I wouldn't say threw. I tripped over my own feet, big surprise there. You just happened to catch me and my ice cream's fall," I replied smiling lying back on the bed with him.

"Don't lie. You planned it all out," Josh accused raising his eyebrows smiling.

"Oh did I? And why do you think that?" I asked.

"You had the hots for me ever since you saw me and 'tripped' so you could have an excuse to talk to me," Josh explained matter of factly.

"Keep dreamin'" I replied punching him in the arm laughing.

Our laughs dissolved to chuckles and then faded back to silence, us both staring at the ceiling in thought. It's funny how far I've come from that summer. Meeting a group of kids who I never dreamed of becoming so close to like I did and the downfall and us separating for two years only to be brought back together and reuniting with my father. It's funny how the world works.

"I'm glad you're here Mass," Josh finally said turning his head to look at me. I followed his lead and stared into his eyes, but I could see something in them, something I couldn't place.

"At the party?" I joked hoping to lighten the sudden serious mood that took over the room.

He smiled, "No I mean I'm glad you came to New York. I've missed you," he replied looking back up at the ceiling like he was embarrassed to admit it.

"Me too," I said softly and he just smiled and closed his eyes.

I looked over at him like I was noticing him for the first time. Josh was really attractive. His dark hair had unruly curls that were cut close to his head. His face was perfectly sculpted and I could notice his arms defined with muscles. I suddenly felt the urge to touch him. To feel the muscles on his arms, the sculpted abs on his stomach that I knew he had. I felt a blush creep up in my cheeks taking me by surprise. I tried to cover my face hoping he didn't notice. Why was I blushing? It was Josh Hotz. I fully expected to blush if it was Derrick, but Josh? There is seriously something wrong with my emotions right now.

"Right through here ladies?" we heard from right outside the door before Kemp strolled in drunkenly. Two girls giggled as they walked through the door, one of them a tall girl with a brown pixie cut, the other with blonde hair the reached the middle of her stomach and a clear as day nose job. Someone is sure getting some tonight.

"Oh sorry!" Kemp said a little too loudly as he noticed us. He led the girls back out and stuck his head back in the door before he left.

"I will leave you TWO alone," Kemp drawled wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, "And you owe me twenty bucks!"

"Just go get laid already Kemp!" I yelled back throwing a pillow towards the door. He laughed and closed the door quickly before it hit his face.

"Why do you owe him money?" I asked curious.

"I bet that he wouldn't get a threesome tonight," Josh explained chuckling, "I should never underestimate Kemp when it comes to girls. He's a lot better at it than I am that's for sure," he finished turning serious.

"That's not true," I replied quickly.

"No, it is. But thanks anyway," he said smiling tightly, looking in my dark eyes that contrasted with his bright blue ones. An uncomfortable silence ensued and I tried to think of something to say to break it with no avail.

"I should probably get going. I don't want my dad to worry," I finally said sitting back up. Josh did the same.

"I'll walk out with you. I should get back too," he answered standing up and sticking his hand out to help me.

* * *

Walking outside I felt a slight chill making me shiver and I couldn't help but hold my body tight trying to get warm.

"Here take my jacket?" Josh said slipping his navy zip up jacket from his body draping it across my shoulders.

"Massie I-" Josh started but was cut off.

"Block hold up!" Derrick said running down to the street where I was standing by my car, or my dad's car to be exact. Derrick could sense he was interrupting something and scrunched his eyebrows together.

"Sorry I just—I didn't really get the chance to talk to you tonight. You disappeared in there," he said looking down at his shoes.

"Sorry I fell in the pool and had to dry off," I replied smiling tightly although I wanted to say _You were too busy sucking face with your tramp of a girlfriend._ But obviously I kept that comment to myself.

"Oh," he said nodding, "well get home and try not to get sick from the cold shock," he finished smiling.

I just nodded and he said hey to Josh before leaving to go back in the house, probably to trade gums with his girlfriend. Not that I cared or anything, at least that's what I can't trying to convince myself.

"What were you going to say before Derrick cut you off?" I asked Josh noticing that he was still standing beside me.

"Oh nothing. Just that I will see you Monday at school," he replied smiling and giving me a hug and bidding me goodbye. I stood there and watched him walk to his car and weird nervous feeling in my stomach came over me that I couldn't place. What is happening to me?

**Hmm.. Do I smell a little Mosh in the air? Hehe. **

**I wanted to have a little poll of who y'all liked better for Massie.**

**JOSH or DERRICK. Let me know in a review who you think?**

**Do not let the original Lisi Harrison characters sway your decision because we all know in the Clique series everyone loves some Derrington! **


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